Welcome to my thoughts.

Consistency is something that is much harder to obtain than I realized. I have been trying to be continuously consistent with everything I do. Writing, house chores, managing the budget, creating a routine, sticking to the routine, ect. The fact that the only thing I remain consistant with is inconsistantcy has lead me to evaluate myself. Trying to find a deeper meaning or an underlining cause as to why I am struggling so hard. I have taken psychology tests and tried to delve into my own being only to find answers that I can’t help but feel would be nothing more than excuses.  I don’t want to see things that are with my personality and play the blame game for my problems. I don’t want to focus on the negitives that I find and tell myself, “Oh, that’s why I am so lazy.” Or, “I am a high functioning autistic, these are the things I just have to accept.” I wont, can’t, and utterly refuse to accept that I can’t change or find a better way! I am a person who strives for perfe

Fears and doubts. These are things that have been haunting me quite recently. Weighing on my mind like a wall threating to fall over on me and the only thing holding it up is my own self confidence. Every doubt slowly placed another stone on top this wall tilting my way. Let me explain. Currently, I am working my way toward a degree and future I am not 100% confident I can do. It's terrifying. The more I study the more I doubt I am capable of achieving a feat others in the field have mastered. However! I can not let doubt and worry seep into the folds of my mind. THIS is what has kept plenty of people from yanking on the reigns of their OWN destiny's. No matter what the future holds I will not hold onto this doubt and uncertainty swirling through my chest cavity. I will push! Push back against anything that would dare chain me down with doubt. I ask you, reader to also grit your teeth and push back against anything and anyone who would otherwise hold you back. S

Sometimes I think of just quitting my job and pushing myself to write for a living. Even though that's not very realistic as I don't have much of a following currently and I doubt myself to ever become a true writer. I still hold high hopes in one day of succeeding and never giving up! I see all these posts about All Authors were once amateurs who just never gave up. Stuff like that keeps me inspired and I shall keep writing in hopes that one day my books take off! Let's stay positive and keep pushing for our goals no matter what they are! We can do it with enough time and effort.

Tonight was another hard work at night and I couldn't help but find myself wondering back into my imagination. Forced to do mind numbing tasks and chores that were the same thing every day, I often do slip into my own head. I found myself thinking on stories and my possible future. I find myself writing as an actual career with the typical set schedules, actually sleeping at night, breakfast, writing, ect, ect. But with having to work an over night job it leaves me wanting to just get home and relax and do nothing but play video games as an escape.  However, I am trying to currently break this bad habit of spending 3-4 hours a day on video games and break it down to roughly 2 hours of games so I can spend 2 hours writing a day. I believe this is easily achievable, or at least seems to be reasonable. So that's the struggle on my daily life right now, working over nights and trying to find time for a social life, writing, and my beautiful fiance. The struggle is real f

So recently I had went on a small rant and finally came out on facebook as an erotica writer to my friends and family. While at first it was a bit awkward to type it slowly felt natural to just spit out the words and ramble about my life and what I write. I didn't go into very much detail but it felt a bit liberating. At least until the next morning where I saw the little icon button glaring at my in the top right of my phone screen, notifying me that I had people comment and like my post. I cringed at myself for having posted it, but it is something I felt like I needed to share. Now it's out there. I read the comments and all of them seemed supportive of my decision and backed me on my idea of being who I was. However, I can't help but feel judged and deemed as a pervert. Weather or not it's true, which it probably isn't. Everything is now out in the open and I feel slightly less weight pulling on my shoulders.

So, today I am taking another step further into my writing career. I am starting up a blog; something to focus my mind and perhaps my attention into writing. I don't expect this to take off, but I do have the hopes. So for anyone reading this I thank you for taking the time out of your day to gander at my babbling. My name is Dalton and I have spent my life mostly inside my own imagination and video games that took me out of the reality of the world. They were my escapes and eventually it took on a life of it's own in the form of a passion for writing. I am an aspiring writer and have been writing consistently for over a year now. While I can't say in my own self opinion that my writing is good. (I always feel I can do better) I do have one hundred and fifty two followers currently and I have noticed improvement since I started. I have the dreams of going big. Writing something that brings me pleasure and a life that I have always wanted is my goals. But I fear with